One Surprisingly Simple Way to Make Your Friendships Stronger
If you want to take better care of your friendships, one thing you can do is to vary the methods you use to communicate with your friends. Friendships are less fragile and feel more integrated into your life if you make contact with your friends in a variety of ways. Also, if it feels like the vibe of your friendship is getting stale, that could be a sign that it’s time to add some variety into the mix.
If you were going to draw a pie chart of “Where your friendships live” versus “Where you want your friendships to live” — and each slice of the pie represented a different communication method — what would it look like?
Drawing time: Audit your Connection Methods
Get a sheet of paper and draw your two graphs, taking stock of how you’re currently keeping in touch with friends. You’re going to make something similar to the examples I shared above. Yes, I’m serious. I’ll wait. …
Step 1: Grab a piece of paper and draw two pie charts:
The communication methods you use most often to connect with your friends
The communication methods and actual places where you *want* your friendships to live
Step 2: Jot down some notes about what you notice:
🤔 In what ways do you interact with your friends most often?
📈 How fulfilling or unfulfilling is that?
🎁 What else do you wish was a part of the mix?
✨ What are some ways you can make your ideal chart a reality. What are some steps that feel doable and even exciting?
A few tips:
💡 If your drawing shows you that you wish your friends lived a 1-to-5 minute walk away, that could be a sign that you need to make friends with more neighbors. Check out my post about the three top ways to make friends when you’re new in town. Those tips work even if you’ve been in town for a while.
💡 If you realized that none of your friends come from an ongoing community group with recurring gatherings, look for groups on Google, Meetup, and Eventbrite. You can also check out new apps that help people connect in their local areas like We3, Lunch Club, and Krunk which connects people with the same fitness goals. Look for community organizations or recurring events in your area that sound enticing to you — then get involved with them! Invite an existing friend to go with you. You’ll get to create a new shared memory and you both could walk away with new, interesting acquaintances to add to your life.
💡 If your drawing shows that you wish you were trading more snail mail letters, cards, and postcards, start by sending one friend a card this week. If you need inspiration to stock up your treasure chest of letter-writing supplies, check out my wonderland of crafty gear.
One of the best ways to make your friendships stronger is to vary the methods you use to connect with your homies. Mix it up! Add layers of texture to your friendship by weaving your friends into the fabric of your life in multiple ways.
