Want new friends fast, with 99.99% less awkwardness?
If you’re having trouble finding people that:
A) you’re cosmically compatible with
B) also want to form dedicated and reciprocal friendships
Then sign up for my platonic matchmaking bonanza a.k.a.:
Here to Make Friends
You’ll meet new amazing friends who are the heart-eyes-emoji match for what you’re looking for in a friend — and bonus, they want to be friends with you too!
Get on the waitlist
You’ll be the first to find out the next time tickets go on sale. Adding yourself to the waitlist will also add you to my newsletter. I send all my event invitations and product announcements to my subscribers first.
Why Platonic Matchmaking Exists
Adult friendship is hard AF. Have you ever wished that you could meet a whole bunch of people that you have things in common with, AND they were as interested as you are in keeping your new friendships going strong? Well, guess what — YOU CAN.
I wrote the book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships and a few times a year, I offer platonic matchmaking as a service.
Hiring a romantic matchmaker to introduce you to your new sweetheart can cost $5,000-$50,000! But this platonic matchmaking event is only $99. Once you try it, you’ll see what a steal that is. 😉
How it works
When you come to Here To Make Friends, you’ll meet not one, but multiple custom-selected friend matches that you’ll be so excited to keep building a friendship with.
How that happens: After you get your ticket, I’ll send you a profile form to fill out, then I’ll be your personal platonic matchmaker. Tell me about yourself and the kinds of friends you’re looking for, and I’ll make the magic happen.
What people are saying
The backstory
Here To Make Friends was created in 2021 by Kat Vellos after releasing her book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. She’s been running the event ever since, and even partnered with NPR to host a special edition of Here To Make Friends just for Invisibilia listeners in Nov 2021.
This event is the only time that Kat offers her platonic matchmaking as a service open to the public.
You’re a great fit for this if…
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#1
You’re open to meeting new people AND you’re motivated to create ongoing friendships.
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#2
You’re willing to put time and effort into nurturing these new friendships so they can go from “cool acquaintances” to Real Friends.
If you're looking for the friendship equivalent of a one-night stand, this event isn't for you!
This is for people who are willing to put some optimistic and dedicated effort into the process of creating healthy friendships.
Our Community Agreements
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Keep an open mind
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Listen with an open heart
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Treat each other with kindness & respect
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Be willing to try new things
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Respect privacy
FAQs
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It's intim-ish (20-50 people). You'll meet each other folks in pairs or small groups, so it will feel small and close. You'll also have a chance to speak up and share about yourself in the main room if you'd like to. I encourage you introverts out there to start psyching yourself up to speak one time while you're in the main room… Why? Because the folks who speak up in the main room are, in a sense, introduced to everyone at one time, and the people who speak in the main room tend to attract a lot of positive attention. People get more excited to know you when you let yourself be seen.
The people you’ll meet are specifically chosen for you based on what you say you’re looking for in a friend. I match people based on the curation info that I request participants send in after registering — that profile is based on the research that goes into what best supports people to form healthy, successful friendships. This expert-level, hand-curation that goes into your matchmaking is what you’re paying for, and it’s what makes this event different from any ol' random meetup. You're bound to meet people you want to keep in touch with because that's the whole point. :)
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This is a speed-dating event for friendship, and it comes with a mini mighty workshop where I'll be dropping knowledge about the best ways to turn cool new acquaintances into lasting friendships.
You’ll meet your matches in a mix of pairs and small groups. Trust me, it won’t be awkward.
Here’s what one past attendee said: “If you're not sure if you should attend this event, do it! Take a leap of faith for yourself, Kat has you. This event is meticulously thought out to a T. I was so pleasantly surprised and so glad I gave it a shot. There's literally nothing to lose except for potential friendship!”
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It’ll be on Zoom so you’ll need a webcam and a microphone — the built-in ones on your computer are fine — so people can see and hear you during the event.
You’re welcome to come as you are, whether that’s in your pajamas or in a sequin jacket like me. 💃🏽✨ I encourage you to wear something that makes you feel fabulous and that allows you to feel like your authentic self, when your authentic self wants to feel magnetic and brilliant.
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Nope! This event will be held on Zoom and it will NOT be recorded. There is no replay — you gotta be in the room when it happens. This is a live-action, closed-door, private event.
I’m purposely not recording so that people can feel comfortable opening up. Rest assured that you’re not gonna end up on Youtube or TikTok or anything.
Recording also doesn’t make sense because this isn’t the kind of event that you would watch later — it’s all about interacting in real-time with your matches. If you can’t attend the next event, get on my newsletter to hear about the next time tickets go on sale.
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Adults 18+. At past events, most people were between their mid-20s to mid-50s, but there were folks younger and older than that as well. My audience of readers and followers is full of the most delightful, connection-minded people and these are the kinds of folks who come to Here To Make Friends.
At our most recent event, everyone who registered for the event used the pronouns she/her or she/they, but past events have included people who use the pronouns them/they or he/him as well. When you get on the waitlist above, you can indicate if you have a preference around the kind of event, eg. a guys event, or a LGBTQIA+ event, etc
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Yep, the pairings and groupings will shuffle people around so you’ll still get a chance to meet plenty of other people. Please let me know who you're attending with so I can split you up, ensuring that you get to meet new people. Otherwise, if you're very compatible you might end up matched with each other!
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I can't guarantee that another human being will do anything because I don't control other people. BUT I will definitely be speaking to this tendency for things to fizzle out, and I’ll give you recommendations to support your continued success after the event. As with all friendships, your success in keeping the connection thriving comes down to each person making a personal decision to show up and be there for each other. The mega-huge special thing about Here to Make Friends is that, by definition, this event is bringing together people who really want to make friends and are willing to do the work to co-create it. Hopefully, that means you will have more success here than you’d have at the random pug-owners happy hour event on Meetup. And did I mention that there’s curated matchmaking by a friendship expert? There’s curated matchmaking by a friendship expert.
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Would you rather have a few orders of pad thai or an entire new friend? 🤔 I used to charge less but it didn’t cover the dozens of hours that I put into planning, curation, design, and facilitation so it didn’t feel like a fair energy exchange.
As someone who has studied adult friendship for the last 8+ years and authored a book about adult friendship, I bring a lot of expertise to this matchmaking night; this isn't like going to a random meetup with no thought or purpose put behind how people meet and connect with each other. I intricately match people based on the curation info that I request participants send in after registering. Expert-level, hand-curated matchmaking is what you’re paying for. Your matches aren’t random — they’re rooted in evidence-based research about what best supports people to form healthy, successful friendships plus what you say you’re looking for in a friend.
This is an event for people who are ready to make a serious investment in the cultivation of friendship and community. If you’re not ready for that big dive, I totally understand! I do other events where people meet in a much more “light” way and that don’t involve matchmaking, but those events tend to be one-off experiences where people go their separate ways afterward (most virtual events are like that). You’re welcome to stay on the newsletter to check out announcements about other events like that. But I created Here To Make Friends to do something different — something deeper, more tangible, and more successful when it comes to helping people create the new friendships they truly want to have in their lives. ✨
More about your Facilitator
Kat Vellos is a trusted expert on the power of cultivating meaningful connections, the loneliness epidemic, community-building, and healthy work environments.
She’s the author of We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships which was called “marvelous” by BookLife, a subsidiary of Publishers Weekly, and which Kirkus Reviews compared to the work of Norman Vincent Peale and Cicero. Since its release in January 2020, it’s been helping adults around the world heal from disconnection and loneliness.
Her short follow-up addendum Connected from Afar: A Guide for Staying Close When You’re Far Away gives you six months of weekly connection prompts that you can use with a friend to breathe new life into your existing friendship, so you can cultivate closeness no matter how far away you are.
A veteran facilitator, Kat has twenty years’ experience creating communities where people find belonging and authentic connection. Kat also founded Better than Small Talk and Bay Area Black Designers which was profiled by Forbes.
Kat’s professional background includes education, non-profit, as well as many years as a UX designer and researcher. She’s worked for Slack, Pandora, and multiple Silicon Valley startups. She’s been a speaker for Design for America, Social Good Tech Week, the Transforming Loneliness Summit, Lesbians Who Tech, San Francisco Design Week and more. Her writing and interviews have appeared in The Good Life Project, The New York Times, Hurry Slowly, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Communication Arts, Thrive Global, the AIGA blog, the Adobe blog, and Design Feast.
With the publication of her new books, We Should Get Together and Connected from Afar, Kat has turned her UX expertise towards combating the loneliness epidemic, to help millions of people experience greater wellness and fulfillment through thriving platonic relationships.
